Tag Archives: shits and giggles

Things I Neglected to Mention During My Incarceration

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What?  You did not know I was incarcerated.  Yes, I was help captive in my home by the couch monster most of the summer, but I returned to work yesterday.  After summer break, educators always get asked the same old shit kind of questions.  How was your summer?  What did you do?  Where did you go?  Yadda yadda yadda.  This week I have decided to be brutally honest about the things I did this summer.  Here are my answers to 10 of my frequently asked questions.  I will let you imagine what the questions are.

1.  I don’t remember anything before coffee.

2.  This is my feigning enthusiasm face.

3.  Bacon.

4.  Wine.

5.  If I have to put pants or a bra on before noon, the answer will always be no.

6.  Some things are not important.

7.  I was so sick of those fuckers.

8.  Desperate Minds High School.

9.  Hey, I just met you, and this is crazy/But here’s my number, so call me maybe.

10.  If you never try, you’ll never know.

Habitat for Profanity

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Thirty days hath September, April, June, and November …

It is that time again.  You know the one I am talking about … cults of insanity.  No, I am not going to even attempt to do NaNoWriNo after my eight word masterpiece (otherwise known as The November 2009 Epic Fail) but I really need to get back into the groove of writing/blogging every day. When all else fails, there is always another freaking meme going around.  This time it is a 30-day challenge that has been going around on all the kewl fuckers blogs.  While I am usually not a follower, I am wearing my T-shirt for the next 30 days.  Hopefully, this will not be bloggercide.

Here goes nothing something.   The topic for day 1  is something you hate about yourself.  Who did this?  Really?  Why can’t we start off with something easy like What did you do on summer vacation? Boo. Hiss.  And Other Expletives.  Eureka!  That’s it!  Believe it or not, I hate my casual and frequent use of profanity.  It has been a lifelong struggle.  Sybil smacked me in the mouth and washed it out with Lava soap more times than I can count.  Like Hemingway said of his efforts in The Sun Also Rises, I have tried to reduce profanity, but I have to admit that I like its cathartic effect.  I believe that honesty is always the best policy, and there are times that I aim to be abusive, blasphemous, and expressive.  Simply put, profanity provides relief.  I Read Banned Books is my outlet, sanctuary, and habitat for profanity … it always has been and always will be.  Yes, I know I do not need to use profanity but there are times when I want to use it.  Show some respect for my use of expletives, and remember that not only am I going to hell but I will be driving the bus.

Please note the absence of profanity in this post.  Well, butter my buns and call me Biscuit!