What?  You did not know I was incarcerated.  Yes, I was help captive in my home by the couch monster most of the summer, but I returned to work yesterday.  After summer break, educators always get asked the same old shit kind of questions.  How was your summer?  What did you do?  Where did you go?  Yadda yadda yadda.  This week I have decided to be brutally honest about the things I did this summer.  Here are my answers to 10 of my frequently asked questions.  I will let you imagine what the questions are.

1.  I don’t remember anything before coffee.

2.  This is my feigning enthusiasm face.

3.  Bacon.

4.  Wine.

5.  If I have to put pants or a bra on before noon, the answer will always be no.

6.  Some things are not important.

7.  I was so sick of those fuckers.

8.  Desperate Minds High School.

9.  Hey, I just met you, and this is crazy/But here’s my number, so call me maybe.

10.  If you never try, you’ll never know.