“Alex” is a high school student by day and a fashionista by night.  He sits in the very front row of the fourth period fashion design class and models his own creations every Monday through Friday.  Today he was channeling 1983 and Jennifer Beals in only the way your token gay male can do.  One of the male assistant principals referred him to me to address his low-cut, navel-revealing, off-the-shoulder, sleeveless and cropped hot pink sweatshirt.   I would like to add that he was wearing a cropped white wife-beater underneath and perfectly bedazzled skinny jeans with black ballet flats.  Now that you have a visual … on to the priceless exchange which transpired when I pulled him aside to address his multiple dress code violations.

Psycho Hose Beast:  Nobody’s denying you have fashion sense, but we don’t show our pit hair or navels at school.

Higher Ground High’s Token Gay Male:  Once again, discriminated against because of my fierce-itude.  You’ll be sorry when you see me on Project Runway.

PHB:  I would be sorrier if I saw you in the remake of Flashdance.

HGHTGM:  Oh no, you didn’t!

Sweet Heyzeus, I hope he wears leg warmers tomorrow.