I think I cock-blocked my husband today when he made a sponge-worthy attempt at drive-by sexting.
Boog: Oooo. Gay guy flirting with me. Must be the new do.
CV: I’m not jealous.
Boog: It’s fuck ass hot.
Boog: My ball sweat awaits your ministrations.
CV: Take a number.
Boog: Who else is getting their balls wiped that I need a number?
CV: The management reserves the right to refuse service to anyone.
Boog: There has been an overabundance of refusal.
CV: It’s good to want things; it builds character.
Don’t you wish your wife was a psycho hose beast like me?