A Southern Girl Trying to Make a Difference in Sin City

Kid:  But I want some hot Cheetos.

Mom:  And I said no.

Kid:  I though you were my friend.

Mom:  I’m not your friend; I’m your mom, and I said no.

Kid:  I’m never going to smile again.

Mom (to me):  Do you want a spoiled rotten 5-year-old who is never going to smile again?

Me: No, thank you.  I’m just here for some cold medicine.

Kid (to mom):  Maybe she’ll buy me some hot Cheetos.

Me (to kid):  I’m not your mom or your friend either.

:: mic drop ::

What happened in Paris today was an attack against humanity.  What are we going to do starting today to make the world a better place for the good of all mankind?  I, for one, will not allow Paris to stand alone. Scary times and scary people cannot consume all the good this world has to offer.  If you were looking for a sign to stand up for something you believe in, this is it.


“No one is born hating another person because of the color of his skin, or his background, or his religion. People must learn to hate, and if they can learn to hate, they can be taught to love, for love comes more naturally to the human heart than its opposite.” ― Nelson Mandela, Long Walk to Freedom

I am fascinating by these things, but do not own any of them … yet.  Christmas is just around the corner. Hint hint.

  1. Vintage campers
  2. Kokopeli
  3. Wine fridge
  4. This purse
  5. A shiny purple flask
  6. Essential oils
  7. A sideboard, buffet, or server for that weird niche next to the kitchen
  8. Hamilton Musical Soundtrack
  9. Turntable
  10. Qwerkywriter
  11. Wraparound ring
  12. Baby owl
  13. Herb scissors

Who doesn’t want to sit next to Shia LaBeouf and share an extra large popcorn while watching #ALLMYMOVIES?  I adore this mofo. No, I am not old enough to be his mother.  Okay, maybe I could have been a teen mom.  Is it wrong that I just want to hug him and sing,”Don’t worry about a thing,’Cause every little thing gonna be all right!”

Image credit: Newhive

Some version of this exact conversation occurs at least once daily in my office.

Me:  Sign your name on the line next to received.

Student:  Miss, print or cursive?

Me:  Sigh. Cursive. You should always sign in cursive.

Student:  I don’t know cursive.  Can I just print my name?

Me:  Sigh.  Sign you name on the line next to received, but you really need to develop at least a signature.  How else are you going to sign your autograph when you join the NBA?

Student:  I’ll have people for that.

Watching: American Horror Story: Coven — I’m behind a couple of seasons. Obviously.

Reading: Sticks and Stones: Defeating the Culture of Bullying and Rediscovering the Power of Character and Empathy. Oh, and yes, I’ll be sharing more on this little gem later.

Listening: to Blackberry Smoke — a recent discovery by the husband who introduced it to me. Think Lynyrd Skynyrd meets George Jones.

Making: a concerted effort to log daily Gratitude! Changing my thoughts to change my world.  By the way, the app was free last week.

Feeling: like there is war in my uterus. Graphic but true.

Planning: what to do on my extra day off smack in the middle of this week.  Thank you, Veterans.

Loving: the cooler weather.  It’s finally fall in Las Vegas, y’all!

1. Type in “[your name] needs” in the Google search:
Jan needs 7 millimeters of a 55% solution.
Reaction: Math makes my brain hurt.

2. Type in “[your name] wants” in the Google search:
Jan wants to buy 3 yards of fabric at $3.58 per yard for a blouse.
Reaction: I don’t sew.

3. Type in “[your name] is” in the Google search:
Jan is a talented teacher.
Reaction: I would like to think so.

4. Type in “[your name] looks like” in Google search:
Jan looks like the crypt keeper.
Reaction:  I beg your pardon.

5. Type in “[your name] does” in Google search:
Jan does 2015.
Reaction: For a few more weeks.  Heh.

6. Type in “[your name] likes” in the Google search:
Jan Likes is on Facebook.
Reaction: That’s a weird last name.

7. Type in “[your name] hates” in Google search:
Jan Hates Herself 
Reaction: This makes me sad … especially since she hasn’t posted since 2013.

8. Type in “[your name] goes” or “..has gone” in Google search:
Jan Goes Obituary
Reaction: Morbid.

9. Type in “[your name] loves” in Google search:
Jan loves to craft
Reaction: I do … so many ideas, so little time.

10. Type in “[your name] says” in the Google search
Jane Says
Reaction: I might not love that Google autocorrected to Jane (rolls eyes), but Jane’s Addiction is still awesome.

11. Type in “[your name] eats” in Google search:
Jan Eats Shit.
Reaction: That would totally be me if I attempted to do anything in snow.

12. Type in “[your name] has” in Google search:
Jan has 35 teaspoons of chocolate.
Reaction: I’m making a crapton of hot cocoa.

13. Type in “[your name] makes” in Google search:
Jan makes a drink.
Reaction: Duh.

14. Type in “[your name] can” in the Google search:
Jan can cook.
Reaction: All Southern girls can.

15. Type in “[your name] will” in Google search:
Jan will you be my girlfriend
Reaction: George Clooney, is that you?


Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 513 other followers